One of the biggest changes I made in the recent years that made a huge difference in my game was my mindset and mental training.

Let’s begin by understanding a fascinating study from Christine Porath from Georgetown. She discovered that negative thoughts are 4-7X more powerful than positive thoughts. Now any thought said out loud is amplified 10X, making any negative comment said out loud 40-70X more powerful.

Knowing the severity of saying a negative thought out loud it’s time to remove that bad habit from the tennis court and your life.

Let’s be really honest here, things are not always going to go your way. For example, you serve out wide and get an easy put away shot, you rush in and you miss it straight into the fence. Now you could let your emotions dictate what happens next, curse, yell, or even throw your racket.

None of those options will help you in any way whatsoever. So what’s the alternative? To be in control of yourself and the situation.  I’m not saying you need to be happy and smiling about the shot you just missed because that’s not realistic either.

Start by acknowledging what just happened, you just missed a routine easy shot. Instead of getting upset, go into self-correct mode, why did I miss and how can I correct it so it doesn’t happen again? At the end of the day negativity is you vs. you.

You can’t always control what happens around you from bad bounces, opponents cheating, to umpires not agreeing with you. Trust me when I say we’ve all been there and we’ll continue to be there, a lot of these circumstances will never change even at higher levels. The one thing you can change is your behavior, that’s 100% in your control.  You’re the master of your universe and you’re in the driver’s seat.

Your behavior is way ahead of your success, don’t let your negative emotions get in the way of your greatness. I want you to ask yourself: “what do I want, why don’t I have and what am I willing to do to get it?”  The toughest war you’ll ever fight is against yourself, start by not allowing your internal negative thoughts to be externalized. We already know that anything negative said out loud holds 40-70X more power than saying nothing at all.

I want you to believe that no matter what, you can influence your future. Your past doesn’t have to predict your future, the only way your past could predict your future is if your habits and behavior remain the same. You’re in control of your game, start improving it today. Be true to yourself, realize changing your mindset could change your game and life exponentially. If you’re an average player you could become a great player, and if you’re a great player you can become an even greater player.

I’ll share a story of what happened to me. I was playing a big enough professional tournament that I wasn’t even in the qualifying, I had to play the prequalifying event which would give the winner a wildcard into the qualifying. I battled two matches per day in the prequalifying and made my way into the qualifying with a WC I earned after winning the prequalifying. Matches were tough and a persevered all the way to Main Draw. Every day I was more exhausted than the day before but I was thrilled to be making it through round after round.  My winning streak finally came to an end in a match I’ll never forget, one that thought me a very important lesson.

My opponent was a worthy adversary with solid groundstrokes, and a great serve, she made me fight for every single point. I managed to win the first set, but as the match went on I began to feel the weight from all my previous matches that week. I managed to make it to 6-5 up and 40-30 and I’m serving for the match. I serve wide, hit into the open court from her return, and she hits a forehand crosscourt.

The ball lands right behind the baseline and it’s out. Very important detail of this story, this tournament was played on clay. I circle the mark and make my way towards the net to shake her hand, and I notice my opponent also begins walking forward. The only one who didn’t get the memo was the chair umpire who said my call was late and gave the point to my opponent. She agreed the ball was out, but stated the call was made too late.

I was fuming, for me the match had ended, game, set and match were the only words I expected to hear to hear. I argued with the umpire, called the supervisor, the tournament director, you name it, I called them out, but nothing changed. I was so overwhelmed with negative emotions I lost that game, the tiebreak and the match. My opponent went on to win the next few rounds and a few years later became a top 20 WTA player.

Looking back after the match I realized I was only 2 points away from winning when I was at deuce, even if for me it meant winning the match a second time. If only I could have controlled my emotions the outcome could’ve been different. We live and we learn, every match is a learning opportunity and boy oh boy did I learn from that match.

Not long after what I learned from that match would come in handy. I was a playing tournament in brutal, hot and humid conditions, my match was set for noon and it was a tough one. My opponent was a phenomenal player, so much so that a few years later she became #1 in the world, her first name is Ana and I’ll let you fills in the blank.

The points were long and we were battling in a close match, she won the first set but I was making a comeback in the second set. I was up 6-5 and the chair umpire made a mistake with the score and we had to replay 2 points. My opponent was now the one fuming, she wasn’t able to control her emotions, and lost focus. I won the second set, and fully came back to win the match in the third set. I was able to see firsthand the cause and effect of how staying focused and in control could affect the outcome of the match.

Now moving forward I want you to be extremely mindful of your environment, especially the company you keep. Negativity is extremely contagious and you don’t want any of that rubbing off on you.  Avoid practice partners that often complain and whiny friends. And very important, run, don’t even walk away from a negative coach. It drives me bananas when I hear useless negatives comments from coaches towards their players. Comments such as “what an idiot, how could you miss such an easy volley”, or “what a loser you lost to that player again”. How are comments like these helping the player in any way? These kinds of coaches bother me even more than the ones that teach bad technique and that says a lot.

They don’t realize those negative comments will impact the player immensely off the court in their day to day life and in their personal development. As a coach I believe we’re not there to only help guide and form a tennis player, we’re there to help them become the best person they can be.

So next time you’re looking for a new coach make sure to keep this in mind and choose one that is worthy of this privilege.

 In the resources page you will find a free worksheet where you’ll check in with every single day on the tennis court you were able to control your emotions and not say anything negative out loud. I’m looking for the longest streak possible, try to complete the 30 day challenge. Even if you only start with a few days, it’s ok. You can restart and go again, this is a new habit for you and it might take time to adapt to it.

Remember every negative thought and emotion we have is self-created. Choose your path wisely!